So following on from last week and ending off with being gentle with yourself, this week’s theme really followed that. It was a week of giving myself a break, being kinder and more gentle with myself.
I came across the following in a magazine that I was reading this week after completing one of those ‘which one are you’ quizzes. Yes, I know I am that girl, they make those just for me!
After having completed all the questions this was part of the answer I got –
Your problem is perfectionism. Trying to bridge the gap between being good and perfect requires enormous effort on your part and is very stressful. By all means maintain your desire to do well, but re-frame this as an ideal not a rigid requirement for life. Accept your imperfections with a smile.
So here I am still beating myself up and considering that I am on a mission to stop being so hard on myself, obviously sub-consciously this is STILL happening. But where do I start, what do I actually do to change this obvious pattern of behaviour that I am embracing every day. Well, I have to start somewhere, so I made a big effort this week to every-time the negative self talk started or the judgement started to stop myself and give me a little pep talk. Something else I read earlier this week was about how you need to be gentle, and remind yourself how human you are and how you are allowed to ‘mess up’ or do things to less than perfect standards. And wowzers (as Inspector Gadget would say) – am I tough on me, the amount of times I had to stop and say it is ok, now worries has been rather frightening. But then it really felt like it has started working, it was quite remarkable like a gentle calm that has fallen over me, no more judgements about things not working exactly as I want them to work, more acceptance and in turn A LOT LESS time spent in my head thinking and thinking and thinking about how, where, what etc etc etc. I seriously feel like a new calmer version of me and things feel a lot easier and less complicated.
It really feels like I am on a path to a more serene me and a more accepting me. This then also reflects in my feelings and behaviour towards others and I see how I am more gentle towards them in turn. Where before I would be harshly judging I now feel like there is a deeper level of empathy surfacing within me.
Well, this is obviously working for me and I am going to a make sure that I get all three parts of my perfect inner triangle to work together – mind, heart and will. I feel like I have buy in for all three, my thoughts are there, my heart wants the change and my actions will drive this.
So here is to another week of learning and reflecting and enjoying this journey of discovery.
Yours in love