Love and Fear

I was thinking about what to write about in my blog today and whilst working on my website I came across a blog that I wrote exactly a year ago. It was so amazing to read; and I realised everything that has changed in this last year.

My blog was about fear – talking about how much I hated talking to people and how much it stressed me out and how much fear there was with this.

Then I thought about how I am now and how things have changed. So I have literally gone from the one who does not want to talk to the one who now puts my hand up to talk.

So what changed this year?
Well, ME!

I made a conscious decision last year to do as many hectically scary things as I can possibly face without dying of fear; and that is what I did, so at every opportunity where someone said come and talk here, or do this workshop or this presentation, I put my hand up and I sucked it up and I stepped up.

I definitely did not enjoy the time leading up to the many challenges, but every single time when I finished the challenge, I was smiling from ear to ear. And I knew that I could go on to the next challenge and embrace all the learning.

I also thinking climbing all these horrible ladders of learning, really helped to build my confidence and made me realise how important it is to believe in yourself.  It really does come down to working on how you feel about yourself. The more and more I worked on accepting me for me, getting in touch with my real feelings and trusting that I can’t control anything, the easier it got to put myself out there. The one thing that also really helped for me was analysing judgement – every time I got scared it would be related to judgement, I would imagine what people might think about what I am saying etc etc, but every time I could bring this thought pattern back to me thinking that what I am saying and what I believe is not good enough.  And then I started to apply some empathy to myself, I am so darn good at being an empath for others but not so much for myself. So I worked on this, I worked on being nice and gentle to me and that helped so much. I also realised that I am not the only one struggling with this as more and more people admitted to feeling like me.

So now I work from a place of love – love for myself, acceptance of myself and the realisation that all this is just about me and me creating the drama and fear.

So if you are struggling go and sit down with this and see what resonates with you, how do you feel about you? Do you need to just be that little bit nice to you?

I pulled a beautiful card this morning – and part of the message was – ‘you are a blessed trust-fund baby of the universe’.

Remember we all are, but only if we allow ourselves to be! So love yourself and create a blessed life for yourself.

Much love
Yolandi

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