Busy-ness

So I haven’t written for a while now as I have been very busy and now with the end of the year approaching at a rapid speed I am trying to fit all the clients in and finish off all my readings for this year.

I have also realised that I need to start taking some time out for myself. As I have spent the last couple of years really working on those nasty patterns that form part of my Soul Energy Centre, I had to step back again this week and have a bit of a talking to myself.

So I have this awful habit of over-giving. It is the freaking bane of my life and this is something that I have done from since I can remember.  So it places me in a space where I am giving all of my time to everyone around me and with clients it makes it even harder.  Being the empath that I am – if I get a call and someone is telling me about how they HAVE to see me now – then the big softy in me feels sorry and I want to find a space to help them.  And I know they need help so why in the world would I be saying no!!

And with my diary fully booked for the remainder of the year there is limited space for anything other than work. So by last week Thursday I was literally on my knees, loads of clients squeezed in every day and me just giving out my energy to everyone and not taking time to replenish myself. So I had to stop. I had to actually sit myself down and go – enough is enough now.

Why the hell am I doing this to myself?
So after some heavy self analysis it just all came back to one thing – how I feel about myself.
Helping other people makes you feel good, it’s a bit like a drug, and in my job, channeling for people, working with the Akashic Records and being surrounded by the awesomeness of spirit each day is pretty amazing. But then when the work day is finished you are pretty finished too. On a physical, mental and emotional level it is pretty hard work.

Then it just hit me – I define myself by my busy-ness. I remember in corporate the busier I was the better I felt, because busy means that you are wanted and needed and in demand. And here I was no in this lovely spiritual business of mine starting to replicate that little pattern again – measuring my self-worth against my busy-ness.

So noooooo – I was not going to go down this little rabbit hole again.
I refuse to define my self-worth by what others think or by my busy-ness. It was then really a matter of stepping back into myself and reassuring myself of my worth. Reassuring myself that actually I was pretty awesome just the way I was despite any job defining me.

And I think that all of us gets caught in this little trap every now and again.We forget that we need to like us because we like us, not because other people like us or need us.

So let’s all mission to remember how awesome we are because we are who we are.
And give time to you now!

 

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Love and Fear

I was thinking about what to write about in my blog today and whilst working on my website I came across a blog that I wrote exactly a year ago. It was so amazing to read; and I realised everything that has changed in this last year.

My blog was about fear – talking about how much I hated talking to people and how much it stressed me out and how much fear there was with this.

Then I thought about how I am now and how things have changed. So I have literally gone from the one who does not want to talk to the one who now puts my hand up to talk.

So what changed this year?
Well, ME!

I made a conscious decision last year to do as many hectically scary things as I can possibly face without dying of fear; and that is what I did, so at every opportunity where someone said come and talk here, or do this workshop or this presentation, I put my hand up and I sucked it up and I stepped up.

I definitely did not enjoy the time leading up to the many challenges, but every single time when I finished the challenge, I was smiling from ear to ear. And I knew that I could go on to the next challenge and embrace all the learning.

I also thinking climbing all these horrible ladders of learning, really helped to build my confidence and made me realise how important it is to believe in yourself.  It really does come down to working on how you feel about yourself. The more and more I worked on accepting me for me, getting in touch with my real feelings and trusting that I can’t control anything, the easier it got to put myself out there. The one thing that also really helped for me was analysing judgement – every time I got scared it would be related to judgement, I would imagine what people might think about what I am saying etc etc, but every time I could bring this thought pattern back to me thinking that what I am saying and what I believe is not good enough.  And then I started to apply some empathy to myself, I am so darn good at being an empath for others but not so much for myself. So I worked on this, I worked on being nice and gentle to me and that helped so much. I also realised that I am not the only one struggling with this as more and more people admitted to feeling like me.

So now I work from a place of love – love for myself, acceptance of myself and the realisation that all this is just about me and me creating the drama and fear.

So if you are struggling go and sit down with this and see what resonates with you, how do you feel about you? Do you need to just be that little bit nice to you?

I pulled a beautiful card this morning – and part of the message was – ‘you are a blessed trust-fund baby of the universe’.

Remember we all are, but only if we allow ourselves to be! So love yourself and create a blessed life for yourself.

Much love
Yolandi

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